Section 8: Lover's Curse

Prologue

The needle that stitches and weaves this heart

Is also the one that gives me stitches and hurts

He attempted

He attempted poetry

When all he's been is an overthinker

He attempted love

When all he's ever been is a friend

Desire

More than to behold

Sometimes we long to hold

To confess, if not to possess

The glitter of the gold

For even a mere witness

Has burgeoning desires

To express, if not to impress

To fit in with the masses

Betrayal

I felt a tingle of betrayal

Though she never in any way betrayed me

…I guess it was just jealousy

It was I who created

This forbidden story

That was not supposed to exist to begin with

It was I who cheated

And secretly betrayed our friendship

…My two greys of brain were in conflict

Now I’ve got to filter this passing feeling

Come back to my senses

And be contented that we’re friends

Glass Wall

I saw you in the snow

Through my accursed window

And I know, you know

I could open this transparent door

To welcome you with the wind

But I'd be letting the winter storm in

This glass wall showed me heaven

From inside this cold prison

Or was it the curse of desire?

Perhaps I should've never even

Drawn this gift of a curtain

And just stayed near the warm fire

Discovery

When Newton discovered gravity

Did he thank the apple that fell from its tree

Or did he think that God revealed to him the formulae

Or that it was simply his very grand destiny?

Me? When I discovered affinity

And found a pearl under the profound sea

I praised the angel and waxed lyrical

Turning a person into library of poetry

Falling down a fantasy

Against depressing reality

Gravity and affinity

Chaining my physique and psyche

Even though I love

The scenery of this aviary

Just like a caged bird

I just wish to be free

Denial

He took her deadly bite for a lovely kiss

And took her toxic touch for a gentle stroke

He took her bottle of cyanide for a glass of bliss

And took her great lie for a little joke

He was bold enough to dream and old enough to feel

And smart enough to think yet immature and unwise still

He overlooked the crack till to smithereens his heart broke

And strangled himself with denial till to death he choked

Vanity

I let it course through my vein

A love so pure yet so very vain

The love that I thought could cure

But in the end became a bane

That promised pleasure

Yet left lasting pain

Why did I even bother trying so hard

When I foresaw failure right from the start

For the star seems near but are lightyears apart

Just like her, just like her heart

All the while, I’ve been chasing a star

She’s but meant to be admired from afar

I came too close and I felt the burn

Yet I return, still

For I never learn

Vanity

Love is a vanity

And this is the reality

Of my pathetic life story

Pedestal

Poising on the pedestal

She renders me humbled

Stargazer, moonwatcher

Earthbound, I felt inferior

Perhaps rather than worshipping

I should've been climbing

Summitting instead of submitting

Atop a pedestal, where I should've been

Before the Clock Strikes Twelve

Drop all pretence

Let’s just be ourselves

We can both see

Through our glass masks

Now allow me to leave

Before it is I who’s being left

I shall excuse myself

Before the clock strikes twelve

Line of Fence

I wish we’d never met

Or at least were only friends

But I guess it’s not too late

To draw this line and build this fence

Let that old bridge burn

Both of us know well we’ll never return

Don't look back, never cross, learn from lesson

Our story’s already reached its conclusion

White Flag

I was too blind

To have fallen into your trapping pit

With no ladder to climb my way up

Cold and dark with no fire lit

I should’ve known

That this ‘love’ has never even been one

The red flag you once wore I used to ignore

So here I am raising a white one

Love at First Sight

As denial blossoms into acceptance

Attraction morphs into distraction

The deadly curse of first impression

Has turned human to angel in an instant

Destiny defies time and distance

Whilst wisdom runs deep in patience

Fate wears the face of happenstance

Love’s a bittersweet experience

Save the souls of the love stricken

Save them from dire disappointment

Or leave them be and let them learn

For denial shall bloom into acceptance

Sakura

One-hit wonder

One late-bloomer

Still she steals the show

Ghost of the spring

Oriental pink

Cherry blossoms blossom

She's to be witnessed

Her presence cherished

Not to be possessed

For she was merely

Passing me by

Not looking in the eye

So must I savour

This spark of wonder

This transient treasure

But stay not too long

For come tomorrow

She will be gone

Witness

I was there to witness

In no wise to possess or even try

Neither chase nor to purchase

(not that I could catch up or afford anyway)

Merely passing by

The serendipity presented to me

Beauty before my eyes

Now I shall move on from such wonder

And let this spark of desire die

Epilogue

She’s a gift to these eyes, but not to this soul

The passing rainbow following a perfect storm

Sent down to please this tired heart

She is angel on Earth, whose wings are clipped

With heart of gold, and skin of milk and silk

She’s a privilege that I must acknowledge

Yet a curse to my desire

But must I not dwell too long

Or pain of pining shall come along

If death is the greatest sacrifice, then I would gladly die

To behold such beauty a while longer, a foot closer

But, no, not for her

For she’s a mere reflection

I await someone better

The angel in heaven