Section 6: Love and Pain
Prologue
I want to live again
And never to love
For I have learned its pain
And once is enough
Love and Pain
Perhaps because the line
Between love and pain is so fine
I can’t tell them apart
And perhaps for this reason
I keep coming here every season
Hoping that love, too, would take its turn
For I had not known spring
As well as the joy that it would bring
Until she came along
And I had never known winter
And all the cold that it could muster
Until she came along
So here I am again
Bathing in this pain
For I can’t tell one from love
Ghost of Rose
Love's a ghost; never there, yet haunts
While she's a rose; a bloody beauty...with thorns
Poems
He sends me poems
Instead of you
For God knows me better
than I do
The Middle Man
I am the paper
On which she writes her first true love letter
Though it is not me whom she letters the love to
Privileged I’ve been to be able to serve her
And feel the gentle touch of her soft, tender hand
As she pens those flowers of mine
But now I must brace myself
To serve that lucky guy
And hold back my tears
For ink and paper
Should not meet water
Suicidal Love
Bathing in this blood
Feels oddly heavenly
Drowning in this air
Somehow feels right
Strange delight
As I'm falling down forbidden valley
Is this love…
Or is this suicide?
Am I happy
Or am I simply revelling in fantasy?
I can no longer tell
Day from night, black from white
Should this glass break
Its crack shall reveal my melancholy
Should this heart break
A beautiful poetry shall I then write
Love is A Bird
Love is a bird
And we are its wings
It takes two to fly
To that promised paradise
With one wing gone
Without her
This love fails
And this fool falls along with it
Now I must fix this broken wing of mine
“Cupid” Warzone
Three crows in the sky
Wheel over my head
Cawing a war cry
'Caw! Caw! Are you blind?
That floor is a pitfall trap
This ground has a landmine!'
'Caw! Caw! Turn back!
Halt in your track and read the sign
Stay where you are or you regret!'
'Caw! Caw!' Squawks the wise leader
'Beware of your budding desire, dear
Before it blooms into a curse you fear'
'Well, what do you know?'
I question the crows
'Leave me be and let me go!'
And so I shower in the arrows
Bloodbath along warpath
As all of the devils laugh
Arrow
Her face flashes at all places
Like lightning striking unannounced
Bright light blinds these eyes
Without a shield, the unwelcome arrow hit
For now, I’ll let the sweet poison seep
That broken cupid arrow shall I then keep
A Lie
Wandering inside this chamber of mine
I’m led to wonder, just who am I
Within your labyrinthine maze of mind
In your occupied heart, in your vacant eye
Who have I ever been to you, oh, dear
A beggar, or a mere passer-by?
A forgettable side character in a chapter,
Or the knight in armour you secretly admire?
I would like to tell myself the latter
But I would likely be telling myself a lie
Blind
Tell me who’s the blind one
You, love, or I?
For I may be blinded by love that is blind
But you’re too blind to see me try
She Vampire
Scarlet rose from your scarlet blood
Scarlet tongue savouring your rosy flesh
A vampire, prowling in the dark
Draining you, striking in a flash
Don't come near, dangerous she is
Pretty she may appear, beauty deceives
Mind your distance, dear, or you will taste
Her sinking teeth, sharp and venomous
Cobwebs in My Heart
Cobwebs fill this heart of mine
Ever since you left its chambers
Spiders crawl underneath my skin
Weaving tangles in my vessels
Hardened wounds leave unseen scars
Hardened valves choke the blood flow
Sticky webs trap all the dirt of ours
Silky webs woven by a black widow
"I'd die for you"
It's easy to say
Caught up in the moment
And I'd likely run away
So I'll live for you instead
For life’s worth more than death
But more than that
I'll learn to live for myself
Epilogue
Oh, poor poets.
They try to paraphrase "I love you" to verses,
just like converting graphite to diamond,
but she sees them as carbon nonetheless.
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